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mutedtempestokay, so, after hearing that Jennifer Beals and Laurel Holloman have confirmed for the L5 convention this fall, I'm pretty happy I didn't rush to book a room. While I do want to meet some of the people going, I pretty much hate the character of Bette Porter. Like, actual hatred, not just dislike. And while I don't feel quite as strongly toward Tina, she's certainly not my favorite character...and her relationship with Bette is completely fucked.
Now, to preface, this is mostly in response to the people who think Bette Porter is the greatest lesbian character ever on TV, and that the Tibette relationship is the shining example of lesbian love we should all strive for. Um, puke. While Tibette isn't quite as emotionally abusive as the Sharmen fiasco, it's pretty fucking close.
But first, why I hate Bette Porter. Well, mostly, I hate her because over the course of five seasons she has never displayed any compassion for anyone, nor has she ever done a solitary thing without an ulterior motive. She's completely and utterly selfish and everything she does is for herself alone. I hate that in people, so I guess it's only natural that I hate her. Her hypocrisy isn't helping either. Nor is the fact that despite being the eldest of the group (aside from her sister), she's by far the most immature. She's also shown absolutely no growth as a person over the past five seasons, and I sincerely doubt she'll show any next year.
Yet, she always gets away with her little temper tantrums, and I still can't figure out why. Yeah, she's a Type A, but Jesus Christ. She's still a part of society. I think my main problem with Bette is that she can never take responsibility for the way she chooses to act, be that good or bad. Hell, in Season 2 she walks into the Planet when Alice is there, and instead of saying "You know what? I fucked up when I cheated," she goes into this diatribe about how she was feeling so horrible that she HAD TO cheat, like it wasn't in her control. Um, no. Sorry. I don't think Bette is capable of monogamy, and it pisses me off that she constantly tries to act like she is. Why the hell can't she just agree to have an open relationship with someone? It's gotta be better than cheating on everyone she ever gets with. And then she acts like she's morally superior to her friends.
Tying in with that was the way she balked when Jodi told her that she's not monogamous. Bette acted as if that was the most hurtful thing she'd ever heard, as if Jodi was insulting her in some way. I don't get that. Jodi was open and up front about it, there was no malice there. They'd only been dating for a little while anyway. And yet, after Bette threw a fucking hissy fit about it, what happens? Right, she cheats on Jodi. With Tina.
Gah. I just can't see why people are friends with this woman at all. She's a complete hypocrite. After all her philandering and lying, she has the nerve to talk badly about SHANE? Shane never lied, which is what Bette has done to every woman she's been with since the show began. It just makes me sick, the way she can do whatever the hell she wants, but calls other people out for acting a hell of a lot better than she does half the time.
As to Tibette: I truly, in all my attempts to try to understand why this relationship as upheld as such an ideal, cannot begin to fathom. From the very first episode we see Bette being completely dominant and making Tina into her little wifey, and Tina just takes it as though it's normal. The Pilot episode and the ones immediately following made me physically ill because of the way Bette spoke to Tina. In my mind, relationships should be a partnership of equals. Bette was acting like equal parts Tina's daughter, being needy of her undivided attention, and her mother, dictating who she should and should not hang out with. I'm sorry, but if that's an IDEAL lesbian relationship, I want to be single forever. And Tina is just as much to blame for putting up with the shitty way Bette treats her. Because honestly, Bette is abusive. She's emotionally manipulative, and Tina kinda is too after the first season. I just don't understand why two women who obviously don't work as a couple keep trying, failing, and then trying again. Neither of them grow and the same old problems drive them apart again. What the hell do they expect?
They have far too many issues, both individually and as a couple, to be able to jump back into anything. And people try to tell me that it's for Angelica? I pity the poor kid. Seriously, kids aren't stupid. If Bette and Tina try to continue their dysfunctional bullshit for her, it's gonna hurt her a lot more in the long run than an amicable separation. Because once the "newness" wears off again, they'll be right back where they started. They're attracted to each other physically, but they don't mesh as people. They don't even seem to like each other. Lust isn't love! Jesus.
Okay, I have to stop because I'm kinda low, but I just DO NOT GET IT. And I don't get why even their FRIENDS act like they should be together, when it's plainly obvious that they shouldn't. At least not on a monogamous, longterm basis. It's upheld as this shining example of what love should be, and it makes me really angry to think that people can actually call that love. It's the furthest thing from.
Thank you. That is all.
But first, why I hate Bette Porter. Well, mostly, I hate her because over the course of five seasons she has never displayed any compassion for anyone, nor has she ever done a solitary thing without an ulterior motive. She's completely and utterly selfish and everything she does is for herself alone. I hate that in people, so I guess it's only natural that I hate her. Her hypocrisy isn't helping either. Nor is the fact that despite being the eldest of the group (aside from her sister), she's by far the most immature. She's also shown absolutely no growth as a person over the past five seasons, and I sincerely doubt she'll show any next year.
Yet, she always gets away with her little temper tantrums, and I still can't figure out why. Yeah, she's a Type A, but Jesus Christ. She's still a part of society. I think my main problem with Bette is that she can never take responsibility for the way she chooses to act, be that good or bad. Hell, in Season 2 she walks into the Planet when Alice is there, and instead of saying "You know what? I fucked up when I cheated," she goes into this diatribe about how she was feeling so horrible that she HAD TO cheat, like it wasn't in her control. Um, no. Sorry. I don't think Bette is capable of monogamy, and it pisses me off that she constantly tries to act like she is. Why the hell can't she just agree to have an open relationship with someone? It's gotta be better than cheating on everyone she ever gets with. And then she acts like she's morally superior to her friends.
Tying in with that was the way she balked when Jodi told her that she's not monogamous. Bette acted as if that was the most hurtful thing she'd ever heard, as if Jodi was insulting her in some way. I don't get that. Jodi was open and up front about it, there was no malice there. They'd only been dating for a little while anyway. And yet, after Bette threw a fucking hissy fit about it, what happens? Right, she cheats on Jodi. With Tina.
Gah. I just can't see why people are friends with this woman at all. She's a complete hypocrite. After all her philandering and lying, she has the nerve to talk badly about SHANE? Shane never lied, which is what Bette has done to every woman she's been with since the show began. It just makes me sick, the way she can do whatever the hell she wants, but calls other people out for acting a hell of a lot better than she does half the time.
As to Tibette: I truly, in all my attempts to try to understand why this relationship as upheld as such an ideal, cannot begin to fathom. From the very first episode we see Bette being completely dominant and making Tina into her little wifey, and Tina just takes it as though it's normal. The Pilot episode and the ones immediately following made me physically ill because of the way Bette spoke to Tina. In my mind, relationships should be a partnership of equals. Bette was acting like equal parts Tina's daughter, being needy of her undivided attention, and her mother, dictating who she should and should not hang out with. I'm sorry, but if that's an IDEAL lesbian relationship, I want to be single forever. And Tina is just as much to blame for putting up with the shitty way Bette treats her. Because honestly, Bette is abusive. She's emotionally manipulative, and Tina kinda is too after the first season. I just don't understand why two women who obviously don't work as a couple keep trying, failing, and then trying again. Neither of them grow and the same old problems drive them apart again. What the hell do they expect?
They have far too many issues, both individually and as a couple, to be able to jump back into anything. And people try to tell me that it's for Angelica? I pity the poor kid. Seriously, kids aren't stupid. If Bette and Tina try to continue their dysfunctional bullshit for her, it's gonna hurt her a lot more in the long run than an amicable separation. Because once the "newness" wears off again, they'll be right back where they started. They're attracted to each other physically, but they don't mesh as people. They don't even seem to like each other. Lust isn't love! Jesus.
Okay, I have to stop because I'm kinda low, but I just DO NOT GET IT. And I don't get why even their FRIENDS act like they should be together, when it's plainly obvious that they shouldn't. At least not on a monogamous, longterm basis. It's upheld as this shining example of what love should be, and it makes me really angry to think that people can actually call that love. It's the furthest thing from.
Thank you. That is all.
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Date: 2008-05-21 08:08 pm (UTC)And Jenny has friends because when she turned bitchy, it was only to the people that were assholes to her first...namely, everyone but Shane and Kit (and Helena, although I dunno if she counts because she and Jenny never really interacted much). Everyone else had either said something about Jenny to her or behind her back, so while it was childish, I don't think her behavior was in any way unjustified.