titles are stupid and I can't make them

Okay, so I've been having mild panic attacks most of the night, and it's really fucking stupid. And I'm pissed off so I don't really give a shit. Anyway, DD is reading my fanfic and all I want to do is delete everything I ever wrote. It's fucking stupid. But I'm just positive she's gonna read it and look down on me, even if she doesn't say it. And I hate it because I'm always so surprised she talks to me at all, and I don't want her thinking I'm some kind of retard. Which I am, but whatever. I don't give a fuck. I just hate it because she's so fucking super genius and I'm an idiot and I don't want her to look down on me more than she probably already does. And DD I know you're reading this and I'm sorry, but that's how I feel.

It's so stupid. Like, Liberalista reads my stuff, and she always says it's amazing. She's another one of those people who's smarter than I could ever dream of being, and I think she's on crack, but she keeps saying it. And it makes me feel weird, but never panicky. Maybe it's because I'm closer with DD, but I've never even considered deleting my stuff before now.

What the fuck is wrong with my stupid brain? I want out of here. But more than that I want to delete every trace of everything I've ever written so nobody can think I'm more stupid than they already do. I mean, I've been sitting here going back and forth between the site and my bed for the past three hours, and every time I get really close to deleting.