Monogamy and other such things
Mar. 3rd, 2008 01:01 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mutedtempestI seem to be one of the few people on earth who just cannot imagine ever sleeping with someone while in a relationship with someone else. Now, I realize that there are a lot of people that aren't like this, and that's totally fine. Just because I could never dream of starting something while with someone else doesn't mean that polygamy or open relationships or even no relationships at all are bad.
I guess I just have a problem if someone is cheating or pursuing an open relationship without being honest about it. Now, just because I can never picture myself having an open relationship doesn't mean that I expect the same of my partner. People think I'm weird for saying that, but in all honesty it doesn't bother me. Maybe it's just because I've been cheated on so often, but really, if my partner were to come to me and say they want an open relationship, it's perfectly okay with me. I've had people tell me that that's distorted thinking, that I'd let them "get away" with that while not doing it myself.
But see, the thing is...if a person can't, or doesn't want to be monogamous...why on earth would I try to change that about them? I fall for people based on who they are. Just because I'm very monogamous by nature doesn't mean that I'd ever expect others to be if it goes against their nature. As long as they're honest with me about it, it's fine. I really don;t see that as having anything to do with me having low self-esteem. I just feel that the morals and standards I place on myself can't and shouldn't be forced onto others.
Now, granted, if I had a problem with it to begin with, then no, a relationship shouldn't be pursued afterward. But I think that if there's a mutual understanding from the start, it's cool.
This entire entry probably makes no sense, but meh.
I guess I just have a problem if someone is cheating or pursuing an open relationship without being honest about it. Now, just because I can never picture myself having an open relationship doesn't mean that I expect the same of my partner. People think I'm weird for saying that, but in all honesty it doesn't bother me. Maybe it's just because I've been cheated on so often, but really, if my partner were to come to me and say they want an open relationship, it's perfectly okay with me. I've had people tell me that that's distorted thinking, that I'd let them "get away" with that while not doing it myself.
But see, the thing is...if a person can't, or doesn't want to be monogamous...why on earth would I try to change that about them? I fall for people based on who they are. Just because I'm very monogamous by nature doesn't mean that I'd ever expect others to be if it goes against their nature. As long as they're honest with me about it, it's fine. I really don;t see that as having anything to do with me having low self-esteem. I just feel that the morals and standards I place on myself can't and shouldn't be forced onto others.
Now, granted, if I had a problem with it to begin with, then no, a relationship shouldn't be pursued afterward. But I think that if there's a mutual understanding from the start, it's cool.
This entire entry probably makes no sense, but meh.