Rainbow clothing + loudness = more authenically gay?

I was having an interesting discussion with my best friend (a straight male) the other day about OurChart and other various gay things. He's a good guy, and if something concerning my sexuality or anything it entails happens to be on my mind, he'll talk me through it or just listen to me rant. By the way, people, my chart has incredibly few links, so if you'd like a link in a purely friendly way, simply go here: http://www.ourchart.com/node/1110.

Anyway, during the course of our conversation, he said something that really caught me off guard. I'd made a comment about how I'm not a person who's all about gay pride. Sure, I'm in no way ashamed of my sexuality, but in my opinion, it's really nothing to be proud of, either. it's not as if my attraction to women is some great accomplishment I've managed to achieve in life. He was silent for a minute, then said, "That's kinda why your sexuality confuses me." After my somewhat confused request that he explain, he told me that the gay people he knew of were all about gay pride, dressing in drag and picketing. To him, gay people always seem to use being gay as the defining characteristic of their personalities.

This really bothered me, mainly because I think that the more vocal section of the gay community is in the minority. There's not a damn thing wrong with expressing opinions, and I can see why some people would be so vocal on the issue. However, I've never been like that, and I'd much rather be defined by who I am and what I stand for, rather than the gender I happen to be attracted to. Sure, being bisexual is a part of who I am, but it's definitely not the most important. I tend to find people who make it such to be a bit boring in the first place.

Please don't misunderstand, there's not a thing wrong with being proud of who you are, and if you should choose to define yourself by your sexuality, more power to you. I simply can't fathom letting sexuality play such a vital role in my life. I couldn't change it if I wanted to. It's something that just is, and I accept it. I'm not ashamed of it, but I can't really see a reason to be overly proud of it, either. It just worried me a little, because the straight world goes by what they see of us (obviously), and the great majority of those on TV protesting and marching in pride parades are so overly proud of being gay that it's become a sort of stereotype of us all. Quite frankly, I'm a fairly quiet person who would be upset if all my life ever amounted to was that I was gay. I simply don't place that much importance on things like that.

I don't know, I'm probably going against the grain here...but I'd like to be seen as a person who happens to be gay, and as a person and an American citizen, entitled to the same rights as the rest of my compatriots...not as a bisexual, deserving of equal rights simply because I'm gay.

Rainbow clothing + loudness = more authenically gay?

I was having an interesting discussion with my best friend (a straight male) the other day about OurChart and other various gay things. He's a good guy, and if something concerning my sexuality or anything it entails happens to be on my mind, he'll talk me through it or just listen to me rant.

Anyway, during the course of our conversation, he said something that really caught me off guard. I'd made a comment about how I'm not a person who's all about gay pride. Sure, I'm in no way ashamed of my sexuality, but in my opinion, it's really nothing to be proud of, either. it's not as if my attraction to women is some great accomplishment I've managed to achieve in life. He was silent for a minute, then said, "That's kinda why your sexuality confuses me." After my somewhat confused request that he explain, he told me that the gay people he knew of were all about gay pride, dressing in drag and picketing. To him, gay people always seem to use being gay as the defining characteristic of their personalities.

This really bothered me, mainly because I think that the more vocal section of the gay community is in the minority. There's not a damn thing wrong with expressing opinions, and I can see why some people would be so vocal on the issue. However, I've never been like that, and I'd much rather be defined by who I am and what I stand for, rather than the gender I happen to be attracted to. Sure, being bisexual is a part of who I am, but it's definitely not the most important. I tend to find people who make it such to be a bit boring in the first place.

Please don't misunderstand, there's not a thing wrong with being proud of who you are, and if you should choose to define yourself by your sexuality, more power to you. I simply can't fathom letting sexuality play such a vital role in my life. I couldn't change it if I wanted to. It's something that just is, and I accept it. I'm not ashamed of it, but I can't really see a reason to be overly proud of it, either. It just worried me a little, because the straight world goes by what they see of us (obviously), and the great majority of those on TV protesting and marching in pride parades are so overly proud of being gay that it's become a sort of stereotype of us all. Quite frankly, I'm a fairly quiet person who would be upset if all my life ever amounted to was that I was gay. I simply don't place that much importance on things like that.

I don't know, I'm probably going against the grain here...but I'd like to be seen as a person who happens to be gay, and as a person and an American citizen, entitled to the same rights as the rest of my compatriots...not as a bisexual, deserving of equal rights simply because I'm gay.