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mutedtempestSeriously. I'm writing two novels simultaneously. One of them will be 40 chapters, and the other is currently at Chapter 63. Each chapter is around ten pages long. And I'm exhausted by it.
Don't get me wrong, I love what I do. The 63-chapter story is just a labor of love. I keep thinking I should just quit, and then I'll have people leave me comments begging me not to. I'm probably being really self-gratifying, but that makes me feel like I need to keep doing it. And the great majority of the time, I love doing so. I wouldn't keep doing it if I hated it. I only recently started believing in my writing again somewhat...not completely, but the positive feedback certainly doesn't hurt. And I'd feel bad giving it up after so long. It's become a fixture in my life and I think I'd really feel lost without it.
The other story is the one for which I have a private contract. Since I'm being compensated, I'm trying to do the best I can with it. I think the general storyline kinda sucks, so I'm basically fucking it up and making it more of a Shenny story, lol. It's fun, although with it being set 40 years in the future they're both close to 70. That's really hard to write, but I'm trying! Thankfully a lot of it is flashbacks.
Anyway, I think I might have put too much pressure on myself by agreeing to do both at once. I love both of them since they're my creations and I'm an egotistical bitch, but I think trying to turn out over 40 pages per week is wearing on me. When I started I thought writing two complicated stories would be easy...it's not. And I feel like I'm being lazy and a failure if I go a week and only post one chapter per story.
I've come to realize that this is a little fucked up. Yeah, I'm a writer, great...but it usually takes novelists YEARS to finish something, and here I am trying to finish two at once in a fucking 3-month span. I love what I do and I'd be lost without it, but i need to take a break. And not a break where I just don't write...I've tried that, and it makes me feel guilty. So, I'm leaving town next week, and I'm not taking my computer. If I do, even if I just get on to talk to people or whatever, I know Word's on it. And I don't want to feel bad about taking some time away from the entire thing. I think it might do me good.
Don't get me wrong, I love what I do. The 63-chapter story is just a labor of love. I keep thinking I should just quit, and then I'll have people leave me comments begging me not to. I'm probably being really self-gratifying, but that makes me feel like I need to keep doing it. And the great majority of the time, I love doing so. I wouldn't keep doing it if I hated it. I only recently started believing in my writing again somewhat...not completely, but the positive feedback certainly doesn't hurt. And I'd feel bad giving it up after so long. It's become a fixture in my life and I think I'd really feel lost without it.
The other story is the one for which I have a private contract. Since I'm being compensated, I'm trying to do the best I can with it. I think the general storyline kinda sucks, so I'm basically fucking it up and making it more of a Shenny story, lol. It's fun, although with it being set 40 years in the future they're both close to 70. That's really hard to write, but I'm trying! Thankfully a lot of it is flashbacks.
Anyway, I think I might have put too much pressure on myself by agreeing to do both at once. I love both of them since they're my creations and I'm an egotistical bitch, but I think trying to turn out over 40 pages per week is wearing on me. When I started I thought writing two complicated stories would be easy...it's not. And I feel like I'm being lazy and a failure if I go a week and only post one chapter per story.
I've come to realize that this is a little fucked up. Yeah, I'm a writer, great...but it usually takes novelists YEARS to finish something, and here I am trying to finish two at once in a fucking 3-month span. I love what I do and I'd be lost without it, but i need to take a break. And not a break where I just don't write...I've tried that, and it makes me feel guilty. So, I'm leaving town next week, and I'm not taking my computer. If I do, even if I just get on to talk to people or whatever, I know Word's on it. And I don't want to feel bad about taking some time away from the entire thing. I think it might do me good.
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Date: 2008-03-09 08:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-03-09 08:34 pm (UTC)