some people are real assholes
Aug. 16th, 2009 04:31 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mutedtempestI am absolutely livid right now.
My best friend is staying the night with me. She's currently sleeping, but we had a conversation earlier today that upset me very, very much.
Just....gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah I want to help her and I don't know if I can and I'm way too angry to write anything else right now.
My best friend is staying the night with me. She's currently sleeping, but we had a conversation earlier today that upset me very, very much.
Basically, the gist of it is that her parents are taking extreme advantage of her. I know that they love her and aren't necessarily doing it intentionally, but they're still doing it. Without getting into too much personal detail, her parents have a lot of money problems, some due to issues and injuries beyond their control but most having to do with lifestyle choices. I'm not going any further with that because it pisses me off and really isn't relevant anyway. Suffice it to say that they're doing poorly, pun intended.
Lisa is slow. I love her to death, but she is, and it makes me very protective of her. She often has a lot of trouble understanding simple concepts, yet she worked her ass off and got her bachelor's degree even after failing many of her required classes several times. She just took them over again because she wanted to pass, and I'll always be proud of her for that. After she graduated, she decided to go work at Disney World for a few months on a sort of internship program sponsored by the school and Disney itself. She did that too and spent months on her own in Orlando, supporting herself entirely. Proud of her for that, too. She spent hours describing and showing me pictures of the Magic Kingdom and other crap that I can't remember and will never be able to understand, but she loves it and is obviously very proud of herself for doing it, as she should be. She's wanted to for a long time.
Since returning home she's working once again at her job as a teacher at a local daycare. She works 40 hours a week and makes not much more than the minimum wage. Because she's still trying to decide whether to go back to school for a teaching certificate or back to Florida for another internship, she's living with her parents as she has always done. She's too scared to move out anyway and I don't blame her. The house her parents rent is crappy and costs $600 in rent a month. Today, she told me that she has been giving her parents $800 a month for rent and to help them out because they are "behind on bills." This is because she is the only one in the house working without going to the gambling boat every payday and blowing her paycheck. That's right, she is giving them MORE MONEY THAN THE RENT FOR THE ENTIRE HOUSE EVERY MONTH. I'm REALLY glad her parents aren't in my immediate vicinity right now because I would beat them both senseless.
She says she wants to help them, and I can understand that. However, she doesn't make much more than what they're taking from her, and I'm afraid it'll never stop until she leaves them completely and gets out on her own. She's been helping them out financially since we were in high school, and it makes me so fucking angry that they allow it. I told her many times that she IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR HER PARENTS' DEBTS. She says she knows this, and is planning to give them a few months before saying enough is enough, but with them it never will be. There will always be some sort of money catastrophe and since none of their other children will allow them to leech, they ask Lisa. Being the sweetie that she is, she'd never think to turn them down.
She told me that she knows it's wrong. She said that they've asked her to pay this amount every month for a YEAR so they can get "caught up." I am beyond pissed off. I don't think they have any right to do this and I feel it's a form of abuse, but as she's 27 and medically capable of caring for herself I seriously doubt i can call anyone to help her. They'd tell me it was her choice. And she KNOWS it's not right, but she feels so conflicted that she cant see any way out. She's not ready to leave home yet but by doing this to her, theyre leaving her with no opportunity to save for when she DOES leave. I'm just so scared that she'll never ever be able to break free from it since they'll always guilt trip her and make her pay that way. I know that they love her and I'm sure they don't want to be doing this, and yes she still lives in their house, but Jesus Christ. This is insane and it hurts me to know it's happening to her.
I don't know what to do. I want to save her, but she says she can't move out right now anyway since she's not ready. I'm thinking that maybe when I come back from Sweden, we can sign a six month lease together somewhere just so she can get the fuck out of there. Then again, that might be too short to really do her any good, since most likely when I go back to Sweden she'd move back home anyway. I do love her, and I do want to help her, but I don't know if I can put my life on hold to live with her for years. On the other side of the coin I don't see any other way to get her out.
Lisa is slow. I love her to death, but she is, and it makes me very protective of her. She often has a lot of trouble understanding simple concepts, yet she worked her ass off and got her bachelor's degree even after failing many of her required classes several times. She just took them over again because she wanted to pass, and I'll always be proud of her for that. After she graduated, she decided to go work at Disney World for a few months on a sort of internship program sponsored by the school and Disney itself. She did that too and spent months on her own in Orlando, supporting herself entirely. Proud of her for that, too. She spent hours describing and showing me pictures of the Magic Kingdom and other crap that I can't remember and will never be able to understand, but she loves it and is obviously very proud of herself for doing it, as she should be. She's wanted to for a long time.
Since returning home she's working once again at her job as a teacher at a local daycare. She works 40 hours a week and makes not much more than the minimum wage. Because she's still trying to decide whether to go back to school for a teaching certificate or back to Florida for another internship, she's living with her parents as she has always done. She's too scared to move out anyway and I don't blame her. The house her parents rent is crappy and costs $600 in rent a month. Today, she told me that she has been giving her parents $800 a month for rent and to help them out because they are "behind on bills." This is because she is the only one in the house working without going to the gambling boat every payday and blowing her paycheck. That's right, she is giving them MORE MONEY THAN THE RENT FOR THE ENTIRE HOUSE EVERY MONTH. I'm REALLY glad her parents aren't in my immediate vicinity right now because I would beat them both senseless.
She says she wants to help them, and I can understand that. However, she doesn't make much more than what they're taking from her, and I'm afraid it'll never stop until she leaves them completely and gets out on her own. She's been helping them out financially since we were in high school, and it makes me so fucking angry that they allow it. I told her many times that she IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR HER PARENTS' DEBTS. She says she knows this, and is planning to give them a few months before saying enough is enough, but with them it never will be. There will always be some sort of money catastrophe and since none of their other children will allow them to leech, they ask Lisa. Being the sweetie that she is, she'd never think to turn them down.
She told me that she knows it's wrong. She said that they've asked her to pay this amount every month for a YEAR so they can get "caught up." I am beyond pissed off. I don't think they have any right to do this and I feel it's a form of abuse, but as she's 27 and medically capable of caring for herself I seriously doubt i can call anyone to help her. They'd tell me it was her choice. And she KNOWS it's not right, but she feels so conflicted that she cant see any way out. She's not ready to leave home yet but by doing this to her, theyre leaving her with no opportunity to save for when she DOES leave. I'm just so scared that she'll never ever be able to break free from it since they'll always guilt trip her and make her pay that way. I know that they love her and I'm sure they don't want to be doing this, and yes she still lives in their house, but Jesus Christ. This is insane and it hurts me to know it's happening to her.
I don't know what to do. I want to save her, but she says she can't move out right now anyway since she's not ready. I'm thinking that maybe when I come back from Sweden, we can sign a six month lease together somewhere just so she can get the fuck out of there. Then again, that might be too short to really do her any good, since most likely when I go back to Sweden she'd move back home anyway. I do love her, and I do want to help her, but I don't know if I can put my life on hold to live with her for years. On the other side of the coin I don't see any other way to get her out.
Just....gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah I want to help her and I don't know if I can and I'm way too angry to write anything else right now.
