blarg

I feel like someone squeezed all my internal organs and then threw them to the side or something. I haven't been this exhausted for a very, very long time. It amazes me that I used to be able to go on prolonged highs without really feeling it, and now I'm fucking miserable. I've been trying. I admit that there's more I could be doing, but I am trying. I test pretty regularly, at least once or twice a day, and I take the amount of insulin that corresponds with the reading. I walk at least a mile a day. Obviously I could exercise more, but I'm trying to build my endurance back up slowly after being so out of shape for so long.

This three days without humalog has floored me. I know I'm getting better, and my reading this morning was a lot lower than it was last night. Still, it's fluctuating because my body isn't quite back to normal yet, and I feel like absolute shit. I feel guilty for not going out and walking more today, and even I know how idiotic that is. I put my body through the wringer the past few days and deserve some time to recover. Had my humalog not arrived yesterday morning, I'd have gone to the hospital. That's how bad it was when I heard the padded envelope go through the mail slot. lol

Anyway, I'm going to listen to my body and relax this weekend and until I leave next Wednesday. I need a lot of sleep and a lot of time for my body to recuperate.

This has scared me, a lot. I want to do more to take care of myself. I can't do everything and I'll fuck up, but I want to do as much as I can.

Right now, though, I want to take a nap. lol