Apr. 19th, 2007

mutedtempest: (bowlshit)
Nor does it equal indecisiveness, weakness of character, or any of the millions of other stereotypes associated with it, many of them being flung by people who identify as strictly "gay."

I suppose I'm just being bitchy on this topic, but it truly bothers me sometimes. I have several lesbian friends who take it upon themselves to comment on my bisexuality at random intervals, talking to me in condescending tones about "Making up my mind" and so forth. To them, all I have to say is simply "Fuck your hypocrisy."

Homosexuality is becoming more and more accepted in mainstream society, and this is nothing but good. However, the backlash from this often hits those identifying as bisexuals even harder. Yes, I'm fully aware of and used to all the misconceptions about bisexuals that are often fueled by popular perceptions and depictions. I'm sorry to have to enlighten people of this, but being bisexual doesn't automatically mean that one wants to sleep with both a man and a woman simultaneously. Nor is it about random casual hookups as seen on Girls Gone Wild. Obviously, things like that do happen, but I'd venture to guess that there are a large number of bisexuals who are intelligent, monogamous, and simply doing what most other people on the planet do: looking for someone to love, and to love them back. Bisexuality is often associated with promiscuity or indecision due to the lack of understanding surrounding it, and even I'll be the first to admit that it's an ill-defined orientation by design. However, just because there are as many types of bisexuals as there are straights and gays, it's no less an orientation.

I'm not against those with a lack of understanding on the subject, but it boggles my mind to have these stereotypes thrown in my face on a regular basis by those identifying as lesbian. I'm sorry, but it wasn't so long ago that "lesbian" was a word associated with sexual deviancy. In some places this is still the case. Why is it, then, that some lesbians are so quick to attach stereotypes to bisexuals? Does sectioning yourself off to one particular gender make you any better a person than I am? Am I truly "indecisive" because I choose not to let my attraction to someone be governed solely by their genitalia? It seems a bit backward to me, really. Lesbians constantly preach acceptance, yet are unwilling or unable to conceive of ever being attracted to a man based on his personality rather than his penis. I'd much rather keep my options open...a person's genitals are decided long before they're born, obviously. If bisexuality is so damn wrong, wouldn't the same be true of interracial dating? Race is something determined before birth through no decision of the person. Would you honestly reject someone perfect for you simply because their skin color happens to be different from yours?

Of course, it has to be taken into consideration that people have certain characteristics to which they're attracted. This doesn't make them bad people; it's simply what they look for. I have no problem whatsoever with someone being attracted to one gender only; that's fine and dandy, and in the long run life is probably going to be much easier for people that are so predisposed. My only problem is that I don't see why my attraction to both genders is any less valid or genuine than someone else being attracted to only one.

That being said, it's true that I do favor women romantically. As has already been established by the Kinsey scale, most people do have a preference, and hardly anyone is purely bisexual in that they have an equal attraction to both genders. However, simply because I leave myself open to romantic and sexual attachments to either gender, I'm definitely not looking for both simultaneously. This seems to be a very common misconception about bisexuality. I, and many of the other bisexuals I've spoken to, am monogamous, the same as many gay and straight people. By the same token, I'm sure that there are bisexuals who see nothing wrong with carrying on relationships with both genders simultaneously. But is this really any different than a gay or straight person who cheats, or who is in an open relationship? I'm sorry, but I really don't see much difference.

It truly irks me when I'm told that I should "make up my mind." I already have, and my decision is to accept the possibility of an attachment to someone regardless of their gender. I simply don't see why some people are so intent to sit on their moral high horses, to tell me that my sexuality is invalid. If you expect your sexuality to be accepted, have the grace and the civility to stop being such a bitch about mine. What makes you qualified to judge the validity of my sexuality, to tell me whether it's right or wrong? Shouldn't that be my decision, especially since it wasn't so long ago that yours wasn't accepted either?

/endrant and apologies
mutedtempest: (Default)
Nor does it equal indecisiveness, weakness of character, or any of the millions of other stereotypes associated with it, many of them being flung by people who identify as strictly "gay."

I suppose I'm just being bitchy on this topic, but it truly bothers me sometimes. I have several lesbian friends who take it upon themselves to comment on my bisexuality at random intervals, talking to me in condescending tones about "Making up my mind" and so forth. To them, all I have to say is simply "Fuck your hypocrisy."

Homosexuality is becoming more and more accepted in mainstream society, and this is nothing but good. However, the backlash from this often hits those identifying as bisexuals even harder. Yes, I'm fully aware of and used to all the misconceptions about bisexuals that are often fueled by popular perceptions and depictions. I'm sorry to have to enlighten people of this, but being bisexual doesn't automatically mean that one wants to sleep with both a man and a woman simultaneously. Nor is it about random casual hookups as seen on Girls Gone Wild. Obviously, things like that do happen, but I'd venture to guess that there are a large number of bisexuals who are intelligent, monogamous, and simply doing what most other people on the planet do: looking for someone to love, and to love them back. Bisexuality is often associated with promiscuity or indecision due to the lack of understanding surrounding it, and even I'll be the first to admit that it's an ill-defined orientation by design. However, just because there are as many types of bisexuals as there are straights and gays, it's no less an orientation.

I'm not against those with a lack of understanding on the subject, but it boggles my mind to have these stereotypes thrown in my face on a regular basis by those identifying as lesbian. I'm sorry, but it wasn't so long ago that "lesbian" was a word associated with sexual deviancy. In some places this is still the case. Why is it, then, that some lesbians are so quick to attach stereotypes to bisexuals? Does sectioning yourself off to one particular gender make you any better a person than I am? Am I truly "indecisive" because I choose not to let my attraction to someone be governed solely by their genitalia? It seems a bit backward to me, really. Lesbians constantly preach acceptance, yet are unwilling or unable to conceive of ever being attracted to a man based on his personality rather than his penis. I'd much rather keep my options open...a person's genitals are decided long before they're born, obviously. If bisexuality is so damn wrong, wouldn't the same be true of interracial dating? Race is something determined before birth through no decision of the person. Would you honestly reject someone perfect for you simply because their skin color happens to be different from yours?

Of course, it has to be taken into consideration that people have certain characteristics to which they're attracted. This doesn't make them bad people; it's simply what they look for. I have no problem whatsoever with someone being attracted to one gender only; that's fine and dandy, and in the long run life is probably going to be much easier for people that are so predisposed. My only problem is that I don't see why my attraction to both genders is any less valid or genuine than someone else being attracted to only one.

That being said, it's true that I do favor women romantically. As has already been established by the Kinsey scale, most people do have a preference, and hardly anyone is purely bisexual in that they have an equal attraction to both genders. However, simply because I leave myself open to romantic and sexual attachments to either gender, I'm definitely not looking for both simultaneously. This seems to be a very common misconception about bisexuality. I, and many of the other bisexuals I've spoken to, am monogamous, the same as many gay and straight people. By the same token, I'm sure that there are bisexuals who see nothing wrong with carrying on relationships with both genders simultaneously. But is this really any different than a gay or straight person who cheats, or who is in an open relationship? I'm sorry, but I really don't see much difference.

It truly irks me when I'm told that I should "make up my mind." I already have, and my decision is to accept the possibility of an attachment to someone regardless of their gender. I simply don't see why some people are so intent to sit on their moral high horses, to tell me that my sexuality is invalid. If you expect your sexuality to be accepted, have the grace and the civility to stop being such a bitch about mine. What makes you qualified to judge the validity of my sexuality, to tell me whether it's right or wrong? Shouldn't that be my decision, especially since it wasn't so long ago that yours wasn't accepted either?

/endrant and apologies

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