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Yay I get to go!!
Aug. 21st, 2008 07:38 pmI got an email this afternoon in my student account at school. As of tomorrow morning, they're going to deposit $6,309 to my bank account. That's almost $2000 more than I expected it to be, and I'm sort of in shock.
I can buy my plane ticket and a nice laptop. I can also pay for the entry clearance visa. I'm gonna be able to go and this is really gonna happen for me.
I'm terrified it's all going to go to shit sometime tonight. That they're gonna realize I don't deserve that money and they'll take it away from me. I hate thinking that way, but I always do. I always think the rug will be pulled out from under me whenever I'm close to being happy. I'm so fucking tired of making myself miserable. I want this.
In other, less pessimistic news, I'm taking the next three days and trying to relax as much as I can. Monday is the start of the semester, and I'm taking five classes. I haven't done this much school for years, so I need to get my head right for it. But I'm really motivated this time. I need to graduate so I can go to school in Sweden next fall. Actually I need to take one more class this term to even it out, but I'm not going to. Moving overseas is huge and I need some time to myself lol.
Besides, graduating next summer won't kill me. I'm going to try not to, but I need 12 classes, and if that means I need to take one next summer, so be it. I will. I can do this.
I think I need to write out a list of things I need to buy and do before I move. Only three weeks! I'm going tomorrow to try and apply for my entry clearance. Wish me luck.
I can buy my plane ticket and a nice laptop. I can also pay for the entry clearance visa. I'm gonna be able to go and this is really gonna happen for me.
I'm terrified it's all going to go to shit sometime tonight. That they're gonna realize I don't deserve that money and they'll take it away from me. I hate thinking that way, but I always do. I always think the rug will be pulled out from under me whenever I'm close to being happy. I'm so fucking tired of making myself miserable. I want this.
In other, less pessimistic news, I'm taking the next three days and trying to relax as much as I can. Monday is the start of the semester, and I'm taking five classes. I haven't done this much school for years, so I need to get my head right for it. But I'm really motivated this time. I need to graduate so I can go to school in Sweden next fall. Actually I need to take one more class this term to even it out, but I'm not going to. Moving overseas is huge and I need some time to myself lol.
Besides, graduating next summer won't kill me. I'm going to try not to, but I need 12 classes, and if that means I need to take one next summer, so be it. I will. I can do this.
I think I need to write out a list of things I need to buy and do before I move. Only three weeks! I'm going tomorrow to try and apply for my entry clearance. Wish me luck.