Yada Yada

One of those sporadic life updates!

2016-07-06T05:36:02Z

I haven't blogged in forever, which is a little sad since I used to love it. I think most of the focus for my writing in recent years has been for RP, which is perfectly fine! I just feel like maybe I should get back into posting here regularly rather than spamming my poor Plurk timeline with minutiae.

A lot has happened since I last posted. I met a guy, dated him, talked about moving in and marriage, started therapy for my anxiety, researched a lot for my master's, broke up with the guy, wound up getting deported from Sweden, bounced around Minneapolis for a few months, and finally settled in the lovely city of Fargo, North Dakota with some friends who had just purchased a huge house. It's been a very wild ride and I'm still nowhere close to where I'd like to be, but I'm working on it!

Mainly by trying to find a decent job. I've been looking in Fargo since I moved here, and as yet, nothing. I imagine it's because my resume lacks any work history for the past five years, which is sort of a thing that happens when you pursue a master's degree in another country. But when my resume is placed next to hundreds of people who don't have that gap, it's fairly easy to see why I haven't been hired anywhere yet. I've come very close, but at this point it's looking a little dire.

Which is why I'm now looking very seriously into teaching English in Asia. I have a bachelor's degree, so the first (and sometimes only) big requirement is met. And in countries like China where the cost of living is absurdly low, I'd be able to live well and save up a little. Which will be good, since I plan on returning to Sweden as soon as I can to pursue a master's. The one I attempted before has ceased to exist, but there are others!

That, and I'm going to therapy for the anxiety again. Amazingly enough this is happening right here in Fargo, which I never believed could happen. But I'm insured by the state under the Affordable Care Act, which amazes me. I'm also having my right eye treated, as I'm having issues seeing.

But things are good right now, and I'm hoping to make them better!

comments

Christmas/Holiday Cards!

2014-12-12T17:06:17Z

If you want one, go ahead and leave your address here! I know I've asked before and I do have a list, but my memory sucks so if you want a card it might be a good idea to leave the info again so I don't forget like the old lady I am.

Comments are screened! <3

comments

Life is kind of amazing, really

2013-04-24T17:13:13Z

I forget that, a lot of the time. I'm sure the bipolar plays into that a lot, as does the anxiety, but I really need to make myself focus on the positive more often. The world's not perfect and never will be, and my life will never be either. But I've made it this far, I'm living in another country studying an advanced degree. A conversation with a friend earlier made me realize that yeah, I feel guilty about all that. Deep down I don't feel that I deserve it, or anything good. And logically I know that's a conditioned response, but it's still hard to work through. Because yes, I am very lucky to have these opportunities and I will never think otherwise, but I've worked to get here, too. Nothing was handed to me. And hell, I feel guilty for having graduated high school sometimes, given my situation then, but I did it anyway and I think I'm allowed, or at least should be, a bit of pride about that and how far I've come. At least a little. Not that I want to brag because gods know I don't, but I really need to remind myself that none of this has fallen into my lap either.

ANYWAY, in the grand scheme of things...while there are miseries all over the world that I don't want to and cannot discount, we do live in a pretty damn amazing time. Medicine and science are improving daily, there's a very nice cosmonaut tweeting and tumblring from orbit (that's some damn good wifi) and while people can be asses, they can also do really amazing things for the world and for other people. I think I need to focus on the good more, since seeing what we want to see becomes such a habit.

comments

My Attempt at a "Celebrities I Would Bang" list

2013-02-10T03:15:27Z

This...is gonna be weird since I'm fairly asexual, at least until I get to know someone EXTREMELY well. This is probably why I generally end up falling for friends rather than strangers/acquaintances but I'll give it a go anyway! Actually, I might revamp the criteria and make it into celebrities i would bang IF they were the characters they play. Yeah, that seems a little less creepy. Or something I dunno. It's late as hell.

Hrm. Well. This probably won't even get to five but I'll shoot for ten anyway.

1. Christopher Eccleston, but only as The Ninth Doctor.

Don't ask why. He's beautiful, okay.

2. Um. Yeah I think I might be done this list is a bust. Maybe like...Martha Jones or some other hottie from the Whoniverse I dunno. Or like. Deanna Troi from Star Trek TNG.

And I suck, which has already been established.

Otherwise, since I haven't updated in quite awhile, life is...life. I moved back to Skyttorp, into the apartment in the house my trailer landlord finally rented out. I'm slowly transforming it as cheaply as I can into a comfortable safety nest for myself.

Still anxious, but finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel and have some hope for the future. Will hopefully be done with my masters degree around Christmastime.

Just had surgery on my bad eye. Doesn't seem to have fixed much, but at least it won't get worse.

Yay I am so exciting.

comments

I am the absolute worst at decision making.

2012-10-27T09:59:50Z

Especially when it comes to apartments, and having two fantastic options at one time is a bit unusual for me.

My current landlady is wonderful, and she's been super good to me. But my previous landlord (for anyone who doesn't know, I rented a trailer in another small town called Skyttorp for about 6 months last year) has the small apartment in his house proper up for rent starting the first of November. He's offered to lower his asked rent to 3000kr a month for me, since he liked having me as a tenant before and would like to have me again. The ad is here: http://www.blocket.se/uppsala/1_rum_och_kok_43525243.htm?ca=10&w=1
For comparison, a derpy Youtube video of my current place is here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AhvM2CVjwDE

For the record, I'm used to being poor, to the point where I accepted any room/apartment that came my way. That's...a little bit of the reason I ended up in my current place, although I do love it.

You see, it's in a very small town called Tobo, about half an hour's train ride from Uppsala. Which is no big deal, I don't mind the ride. But the train station is about a mile from my house, half a mile outside town itself, and while there's a lighted path from it, it's through the middle of the forest and pretty damned creepy to walk at night.

Of course, there are buses available, but they only run to my town every two hours most of the day. A bit more frequently in busy times, once an hour, but still. A bit of an annoyance since I have Swedish classes on Wednesday nights, and have to wait either an hour and a half at the train station for the bus home or walk the creepy mile.

Also, the current place has no shower. My landlady shares hers with me, but I don't have free access to it and can only use it when she's home, which can be annoying since she works full time and goes out quite a bit, and often leaves for the weekend to stay with her boyfriend. Which is fine, I've been making it work using the shower at the gym, but public showers are just something I do not like and it'd be really nice to have my own.

I also don't have a freezer or an oven in this place. It's been okay, I make do with what I can do on the stovetop/hotplate thing I have, but it would be damn nice to have a real kitchen again.

Price-wise, the places are actually pretty comparable. The current place is 2200kr per month, all inclusive with really good broadband and TV (not that I have a TV, but if I did the cable package is pretty nice), but the month long transit card is 840kr on top of that, so I'm already paying a tiny bit over 3000 to live here before food costs. The apartment would be 3000kr per month, also all inclusive, with broadband and TV, but the transit card is 525kr for that town. So, 3040kr for this place, and 3525 for the apartment...I'm thinking it might be worth it, to be so close to the train and have buses running every hour, a shower of my own, and an actual kitchen.

But, again, I suck at decisions! I'm asking for help here because I'm honestly lost as to which is the better choice. While I'm not rich by any means, when my loan comes in I'll be able to afford the new place, and it'll be a hell of a lot easier to work at the student nations at night when I have a block to walk rather than a creepy mile through the woods. xD But is it the smart choice? I really don't know.

comments