mutedtempest: (Default) gonna be weird since I'm fairly asexual, at least until I get to know someone EXTREMELY well. This is probably why I generally end up falling for friends rather than strangers/acquaintances but I'll give it a go anyway! Actually, I might revamp the criteria and make it into celebrities i would bang IF they were the characters they play. Yeah, that seems a little less creepy. Or something I dunno. It's late as hell.

Hrm. Well. This probably won't even get to five but I'll shoot for ten anyway.

1. Christopher Eccleston, but only as The Ninth Doctor.

Don't ask why. He's beautiful, okay.

2. Um. Yeah I think I might be done this list is a bust. Maybe like...Martha Jones or some other hottie from the Whoniverse I dunno. Or like. Deanna Troi from Star Trek TNG.

And I suck, which has already been established.

Otherwise, since I haven't updated in quite awhile, life I moved back to Skyttorp, into the apartment in the house my trailer landlord finally rented out. I'm slowly transforming it as cheaply as I can into a comfortable safety nest for myself.

Still anxious, but finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel and have some hope for the future. Will hopefully be done with my masters degree around Christmastime.

Just had surgery on my bad eye. Doesn't seem to have fixed much, but at least it won't get worse.

Yay I am so exciting.
mutedtempest: (vader - airing of grievances!)
It's been forever since I've updated this or any of my journals, and I apologize. Not that anyone really reads them, I'm sure, but...still.

My avoidance has been very bad the past few months. To the point where interacting, even on the internet, has terrified me. I'm trying to get over that, little by little, but in doing so I've had to build a fortress around myself, and that makes things rather less than exciting. Hence, not feeling that anything in my life was worth posting about.

I still feel incredibly thankful to be in Sweden. School is much more difficult than I anticipated, originally, but I'm trying. I finally received my personnummer at the end of November, entitling me to Swedish state health care, and I plan to take full advantage of it starting in the spring for my anxiety as well as my diabetes (including my bad eye). I'd do so now, but clinic and hospital visits still have fees, although MUCH lower than in America, and...I'm broke. And it's not life or death, so I can deal for another month. I have gotten insulin, though, and it feels like stealing to be able to go the pharmacy and pick it up without being charged. It's absolutely wonderful. Of course, I know this will set me back when I have to return to the States, but right now it feels like I won the lottery, as silly as that sounds.

Today is Christmas Eve, and most Swedes celebrate the holiday today. I'll be on my own, as I usually am on Christmas, but it's fine with me. My lovely friends will be with their own families, and I've been promised their company soon, so I'm looking forward to that. My best friend also sent me a wrapped present that I wasn't allowed to open until today, and while I already know what it is, I'm still excited. I'll also be watching Kalle Anka (Donald Duck, a bunch of old cartoons in an hour long special that's shown every Christmas Eve in Sweden, a big tradition here and one I find adorable).

Other than that, no big plans. I have an essay and my ten page thesis proposal to be working on, but I'm taking the weekend off from worrying about either of them and will just sit here in my jammies watching movies, reading fiction and drinking Coke.

Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays everyone, hope they're great! :D
mutedtempest: (Default)
Just got back from a lovely two day trip to Copenhagen. It was basically spur of the moment and because it's easy to get there and doesn't take long, but I can now cross another city off my list of must-sees.

I went with my best friend, and I can't imagine anyone better to have gone with. We took an overnight bus down and were planning to take one back the same night, but by the time we got to the city and walked a bit, we needed to find somewhere to rest for at least a little while. We found a hotel and asked if it were possible to rent a room for a few hours, but it wasn't, so we paid for the whole night. Seemed silly to leave so soon after that, and I'm glad we didn't. Would have been way too much in one day.

It was beautiful weather, unseasonably warm and very sunny, so we definitely lucked out there. We wandered around most of the day, doing a lot of the touristy stuff. It was really nice, and I was more relaxed than I've been in ages. The city is just beautiful, and I'm really glad my phone has such a good camera because I got some really nice pictures. We went to a Mexican restaurant in the city center for lunch (lol) because my best friend is a Stockholmer and hadn't had authentic Mexican food before. Sadly, she still hasn't, because it was rather lacking. We both got a sort of enchilada variety plate, and while it was okay, it was...nothing really special. But it was still good, and we continued walking around after that.

I had only brought one pair of shoes with me when I flew over from the States, a rather new pair of Adidas Superstars. While they're comfortable, they're not exactly walking shoes, and my feet were killing me by early afternoon. So we stopped at a Foot Locker and I bought myself a pair of sparkly lavender and orange Adidas running shoes. They sound garish but they're really not too bad, and they're incredibly comfortable.

After that we wandered a bit more, and looked around the Lego store, which was the highlight of the trip for me. After that we decided we wanted to get impulse tattoos, so we found a parlor. When informed it would be a wait, we went for drinks at an Irish pub. While there, we decided that the tattoos were too expensive to be a good idea, so we got dinner and more drinks instead. lol. After that we decided to keep drinking, so we went down the road to a fairly fancy bar, at which we drank disgusting drinks and had cheesecake. By this time we were pretty drunk, so we went back to the hotel, stopping at a hot dog vendor on the way, about which we laughed a lot because we are mentally twelve years old.

The next morning, we realized that breakfast had been included in the room cost, so we decided to stay a bit longer and take advantage of it. Best decision EVER. It was amazing. Tons of really good food, including some of thebest bleu cheese I've ever had.

After that, we headed for the train station. After some initial confusion we managed to get a train home, with a 5 hour stop in Malmö. This was actually good since it gave us a chance to wind down a little bit.

All in all it was one of the best trips I've ever taken, and the first with a friend. Loved it and I'm so glad I went.

Some pics! Typical tourist shots:

mutedtempest: (Default)
I know it's been forever, aside from the copypasted posts from my other blogs. I honestly have no idea why I have so many. I guess that like everything else I have a terrible time making decisions, and I sort of like being able to post certain things in certain places. I've missed IJ though, and I feel comfortable here, so I'd like to get back into at least a semi-regular updating pattern.

A lot has been happening recently, most of which revolves around my application and acceptance to Uppsala University, and the approval of my residence permit. In less than 5 days I'll be leaving Moline, hopefully for good, but for at least two years while I study for a master's degree. To say I'm happy would be the understatement of the century. I still can't believe I've gotten so lucky, and I keep waiting to wake up from the dream and realize it's not real. But that hasn't happened yet, so I'm doing my best to accept that maybe I do deserve something that I've really wanted. I'm going to try to make the best of it and not take any of it for granted.

To be perfectly honest I never believed it would happen. I'd sent applications to schools in Norway and The Netherlands too, since I was so positive Uppsala wouldn't accept me. Even if they did, with the new tuition fees for non-EU students I thought there'd be no way I could ever afford it, even with student loans. To my complete and utter shock I was not only accepted but approved for some extra student loan funds which will be plenty to live comfortably on.

I thought the lucky streak would end and that my student residence permit would be denied, since I applied for one before and wasn't accepted. Those courses were all online, though, and the American student loan system changed while I was there the first time. I was still super anxious waiting to hear something for three months, though, and expected them to say no. For some reason, they didn't, and last week I got an email saying that I was approved.

I keep waiting for it to sink in. I've been buying things and making plans, but it still doesn't feel real to me. I do I deserve this? Sweden has always felt like home to me. I'm still avoidant and will always have issues, but I'm just not as anxious so often when I'm in Sweden. And I have friends there, real ones, three of whom are only a short bus ride away from Uppsala and the others an overnight ride.

I feel like this is a second chance for me. I think, just maybe, I can at least make an attempt to become the person I want to be. I'll be able to apply for a personnummer, and will have better health care than I've ever had in America. That alone makes me feel like I've won the lottery. I'll also be at a large university, and will try my hardest to socialize as much as I can. I'm going to join a choir, something I haven't been part of for years now and miss terribly.

In short, the universe is really being nice to me right now, and I'm just sort of floating around in a daze. I really cannot wait.


mutedtempest: (Default)

July 2016

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